Fickle Friendships

Friendships are one of the most vital connections humans can have, yet they are always changing and evolving. But how do you navigate such an important change in your life? Ella Fleming helped explain how to help a changing friendship: “Just talk to them and see where both of your guys' heads are at.” 

Communication is the foundation for all types of relationships, whether it be friendships, family relationships, or romantic relationships communication is the base for all relationships. “Communication is one of the most important things in a friendship because if you don't know what's going on nothing will ever be fixed or resolved,” Ella Fleming explained.

 Because of communication there is always the opportunity to rekindle an old friendship. If you realize a couple months or years later that whatever happened wasn't right and you want them back in your life, most of the time if you talk it out you can rekindle that friendship. Junior Peyton Sexton talks about how she rekindled one of her own friendships: “Nothing really happened, we just grew apart, we went to a new school and had our separate friend groups and just didn't talk until the end of freshman year.”

 While some endings of friendships are messy and there's a lot of resentment, it's also very common to just grow apart naturally. “I think that as we grow, especially now in high school, people start to shift more into who they are, or sometimes who they want to be. And as we grow, I think that sometimes those friendships are no longer compatible or even needed. I think that this is pretty common especially in high school, but I find that you can still like the person and be there for them even if the relationship has evolved over time,” sophomore Finley Morado says. 

However, even with growing apart, sometimes it can be hard just to maintain the friendship as major life events happen such as graduating, family deaths, moving, and just things of that nature so how do you continue to provide for those friendships even with these changes? “I think in general, the transitions from elementary to middle school, and middle to high school, have impacted my friendships the most. This is also in relation to how friendships change as people grow, but as kids would switch schools especially after graduating those years, I think friendships drift significantly, mostly because of the lack of contact, and not seeing them every day like you used to,” Finley Morado elaborates.

Other friendships and relationships can affect friendships as well; if you get a significant other and start spending all your time with them and not your friend, they’re naturally going to be upset and the same thing applies with other friendships. If you don't even out your time spent with each friend and prioritize some friends over others it will affect the friendship later on. “It felt like I was already being replaced even before I was really replaced,” Ella Gleming comments. 

Even with all of the negative sides to friendships or relationships, they are some of the most valuable and most important connections humans can have. While some friendships last a lifetime, others just serve a valuable chapter in our lives, whether it teaches you a lesson or just helps you grow as a person. Friendships require patience, trust, understanding, and much more so it is very important to find those people that are willing to give you that type of friendship. Holding onto resentment or guilt from past friendships won't do much for you in the long run; instead, focus on the friendships that are in your life and if it affects you that much then rekindle that lost friendship.